Thursday, May 16, 2013
It's been almost one year since I have written a post. In the past, I've usually apologized and promised to write more...I'll be upfront, I can't make promises that I'll write more frequently. Please don't judge me. I hate talking about my feelings...I'm much better at writing about them. So maybe this blog will become my therapeutic way of expressing myself. So here it goes...
Have you ever had a week where you feel like a complete failure as a mother? I had one of those last week. Frankly, I'm surprised CPS hasn't knocked on my doorstep and slapped me with a 310 yet. On Monday I was attempting to make dinner for my family. I had some food on the stove simmering with a lid on top of the pan. When I took the lid off of the pan to stir the food, the hot water that was on the lid dripped onto my 16 month old baby and burned him. Mommy Fail #1. Jake, my son, was not a fan. The water had hit his forehead, his chest, and his back. The water wasn't hot enough to leave blisters, just a few red spots and lots of tears from my son and myself. I called his pediatrician and was told to bring him in to their office. By this time, Jake was perfectly fine and all of the red spots were gone. The only thing that had not disappeared were my tears and feelings of guilt that I burned my sweet baby. Jake's pediatrician checked him out and said he was fine. To be honest, I think she was more worried about me because I could not stop crying. Crazy Mommy Moment #1.
The very next day Jake was in my room while I was getting dressed, and he started running towards my night stand, tripped and fell, and hit his head on the corner of my night stand. Mommy Fail #2 for not having the corners of my night stand padded. As you can imagine, lots of tears ensued (from myself and Jake), and a nice goose egg and cut appeared right in the middle of my baby's forehead. I immediately placed an ice pack on Jake's forehead and tried my best to keep it there, but Jake was way too squirmy for that. I found a flashlight and shined it in his eyes to make sure his pupils reacted, which they did. They both constricted at the same time which was a huge relief for me. I called his pediatrician AGAIN for the second day in a row to see if I needed to bring him in. This is how the conversation went when I spoke with his doctor's nurse:
Nurse: Now, what is the child's name?
Me: Jacob Hubbard
Nurse: Ok, Jac--- Wait, weren't you here yesterday?
Me: Yes, I burned him yesterday. Now he has a huge goose egg on his head but his pupils constrict when I shine a light into his eyes. And he is currently playing and acting fine. Do you think I should bring him in? (Note: this would be considered Crazy Mommy Moment #2)
Nurse: Umm... it sounds like he's fine; however, you are more than welcome to bring him in if you want if that will give you a peace of mind...
Me: No thank you. I think I've humiliated myself enough at your office. I appreciate your time.
Before I had a child I would always wonder why mothers were completely beside themselves when they brought their kids to the ER whether it be for a broken bone, stitches, etc. I mistakenly passed judgement and thought to myself, I will never ever act that way when I have my kids. Don't these mothers know that what their child is going through is not that big of a deal? It's not like they have tubes coming out of every orifice of their body. These women are insane, I will never do that. Oh how karma has a way of coming back to you. I've found that I am just as "crazy" as some of those mothers that come through the ER at work.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, that accidents happen to kids...especially to toddlers because they are every where and into everything. My husband said it best: you can't keep him in a plastic bubble and protect him from every little things. Accidents are bound to happen. They happen to every child. It doesn't make you a horrible mother.
I should really learn to listen to him...he would be so pleased. Anyway, those are my epic mommy fails for the week. I'm sure there will be more....