They Said What?!

B.C (before children) I never realized how much judgment and unsolicited advice I would receive from friends, family and strangers on pregnancy, childbirth and parenthood.  I made a list of some of the most outrageous comments said to me, and what I wish I would have said.

1.      “You had an epidural, huh?  You took the chicken’s way out.” Yes I did, and I make no apologies for it!  Try turning your dick inside out and pushing something the size of a watermelon out the opening the size of a lemon.  Why don’t you stick with what you do best: riding motorcycles and being a douche!

2.      “Why don’t you do childbirth like a real woman and not have an epidural?” Just because you’re a hag that gave birth in the 80’s without an epidural doesn’t mean that I have to be. I’m doing it like a smart woman and getting something for the pain.

3.      “Women have been giving birth for thousands of years without epidurals” Yes and how many of those women died in childbirth?

4.      “You’re going to put your child in daycare?  Don’t you feel bad about that?” I do now jerk! Two days a week is not going to scar him for life, and it works for our family.

5.      “Here’s a book on parenting.” Um…you don’t even have children.

6.      “The reason today’s kids are the way they are is because the mothers are always working, and these kids are raising themselves” I’m a full time working mother and rest assured that my husband and I ARE raising our children.

7.      “You’re choosing to vaccinate your children?  Aren’t you scared that they’ll be autistic?  And what about all of those chemicals that are in vaccines?” Yeah, that McDonald’s hamburger you’re eating has more chemicals than a vaccine.  By the way, stop taking medical advice from a former playboy model and a scam artist that can no longer practice medicine because he falsified his research.

8.      “You’re no longer breast feeding?  That’s a shame because your child would have been smarter. My mom breastfed me for a lot longer” You’re giving a lot of parenting advice for someone who doesn’t even have children. Maybe your mom should have spent less time breast feeding you and spent more time teaching you some tact!

9.      “Your two month old baby is sleeping ALL the way through the night?!  Isn’t that against the rules?” No.  What is against the rules is that your toddler STILL can’t sleep through the night.

10.  “I bet contractions don’t hurt as much as my tooth did before I had a root canal.” No response necessary, just a punch to the face.
11."Oh look, you still have a pooch(while patting my belly 4 days after giving birth). I'm still speechless...

Growing Up With J & J

Here we are...Josh turned 3 months on February 23, and Jake The Snake turned the big 3 on January 10.  I had the idea to create continual posts of the boys as they get older.  Before I can write about their current height, weight, milestones, etc I need to go all the way back to this time last year.  I'll start with Jake-Man...

For Jake's 2nd birthday Michael and I decided to do a fireman theme.  Firefighters hold a special place in my heart because my maternal grandfather was a firefighter.  There are multiple pictures of me and my brother next to the firetruck that my grandfather rode in.  My grandfather passed away when I was sixteen, and when I was twenty four Evansville bought a couple of new firetrucks and one of the firetrucks was named after my grandfather.  Anyways, Jake loved his fireman cake and all of his presents.  Both sets of grandparents were at his party along with most of his aunts, uncles, and cousins.  Jimmy Johns sandwiches were served along with water, tea, brownies, cake and ice cream. 

Here are Jake Man's stats at 2 years:
Height: 34 in (3%)
Weight: 24lb (10%)
Immunizations: Hepatitis A
Favorite foods: Milk, Bananas, Kiwis, Apricots, Green Beans, Ribs
Loves: Blankie, Oliver, Jack-Jack
Favorite Books: Chica Chica Boom Boom
Sleep Habits: 12 hours at night and a 2 hour nap during the day
Disposition: Jake is so busy!  From the time he wakes up he is constantly on the go.  He loves trucks, reading, and his puppies.  Jake Man is also strong willed and becoming more and more independent as the days go by.  He doesn't say a lot of words yet, but it will only be a matter of time.  Jake is the happiest little guy.  We can't imagine our lives without him!

Jake and I in the firetruck named after my grandfather

Blank firefighter invitation that I found on pintrest

Jake's firetruck cake

Two Year Old Jake

  Jake Man's Stats at 3 Years Old:


Height: 36.5 in (25%)
Weight: 29lb (25%)
Immunizations:  No shots this time around!
Favorite Foods: Ribs, Rice, Bread, Pizza, any kind of fruit
Loves: Joshie and Blankie
Favorite Books: Chica Chica Boom Boom, Steam Train Dream Train, A Little Bug Went Kachoo!
Sleep Habits: Still sleeps 12 hours at night along with a 2 hour nap during the day
Disposition:  Jake has become so much more independent over the past year.  He was officially potty trained during the summer of 2014.  Jake Man is extremely strong willed but has the sweetest spirit.  He is very compassionate and loving.  He amazes me at how smart he is.  He is talking so much more than what he was this time last year.  He's speaking complete sentence and actually reasons very well.  Jake is still extremely busy and is on the go.  When I'm out with both Jake and Josh people comment that I "have my hands full", and my response is usually "yes but so is my heart".

Three Year Old Jake

Josh is very similar to Jake as an infant.  Joshie is a great sleeper, a good eater and very happy.  I'll go through Josh's milestones month by month and give a comparison picture to Jake.

Here are Josh's One Month Stats:

Height: 21in (25%) -------> comparison to big bro: 21in
Weight: 10lb 2oz (50%)-------> comparison to big bro: 9lb 9oz
Eating Habits:  Every 2-3 hours getting pumped breast milk or formula.  He is a slow eater, sometimes it will take him 45 minutes to finish a bottle.  His bottle has to be just the right temperature, or he won't take it.  That is a HUGE difference between him and Jake.  Jake would suck down a bottle in five minutes...it didn't matter if it was cold or hot.  When Jake was ready to eat, he was ready to EAT! 
Sleeping Habits: Josh sleeps 3-4 hour stretches at night in the pack-n-play set up in our room.
Immunizations: Hepatitis B
Disposition:  Josh is very content baby.  He is so alert and just takes everything in!  He tracks objects very well.

Josh- One Month Old

Jake- One Month Old

Josh's Stats at Two Months Old:
Height: 23 in(50%)-------> comparison to big bro: 22.5in
Weight: 11lb 13oz(50%)------->comparison to big bro: 12lb 4oz
Eating Habits: Josh eats 4-5oz every three hours.  He doesn't take nearly as long to finish a bottle.
Sleeping Habits: Josh sleeps 6-8 hour stretches at night.  Michael kicked him out of our room, it was a sad day for me.  I really wanted to hang on to that time of having a sweet baby sleeping with us because I'll never get to have that again.
Immunizations: DTap, Rotavirus, Polio, and PCV 7
Disposition:  Josh is such a sweet heart!  He continues to be SO laid back.  His first smile was on Christmas Eve, he slept 8 hours on New Years Eve, and he rolled from his belly to his back on 1/21/15!  He has amazing head control and loves to come to the gym with me and Jake.  He absolutely adores Jake and watches his every move, and Joshie LOVES being snuggled by Michael.

Josh- Two Months Old

Jake- Two Months Old

Josh's Stats at 3 Months Old:
Weight: 15lb -------> comparison to big bro: 14lb
Eating Habits: 6-7 oz every three hours.  Josh has improved so much on taking his bottle.  He doesn't take as long to finish his bottle.  His appetite is becoming more and more like Jake Man's appetite at that age.  If it continues the way it does, both boys will eat us out of our house!
Sleeping Habits: 8-12 hours at night along with 2-3 naps during the day.  Josh is still an AMAZING sleeper!
Immunizations: No shots for the 3rd month!
Disposition: Josh is such a great baby!  He has the sweetest disposition and is so happy!  He is even more laid back than Jake at that age.  He is rolling from belly to back more and more!  He'll even roll from his back to his side.  He is such an amazing baby!

Josh at 3 Months

Jake at 3 Months

Jake and Josh

Untitled

Dear Baby I Don't Have But Want,

I don't know how I miss someone that I never had.  I never knew I wanted you until after I had Josh.  I am the most selfish person in the world for wanting you...I have two beautiful children who are my world, yet I still want you.

I know I should be grateful for what I have ( and I am more grateful than you or anyone else will realize) because so many people struggle with infertility and want nothing more than to experience parenthood.  I know that I am lucky to have my children.

But I still want you with all my heart.  Josh is only two months old, and I need to focus on what I have in front of me.  I don't know what the next couple of years will bring...maybe I will feel differently, maybe I won't.  What I do know is that I already love you.  I love you, and I haven't even conceived you.

How ironic it is that I went from not wanting children ten years ago to longing with all my heart for a third child.  I'm sure there will be days when I manage not to think of you or days when I'll forget how wonderful pregnancy is and how amazing bringing a newborn baby into the world is.

Maybe one day I'll come to terms with never getting to hold you in my arms or carrying you for 40 weeks.  I'm so blessed to have Jake and Josh, and I know I'm selfish for wanting another child.  It's a feeling I can't explain that well.  Please know this, baby that I want but don't have, I love you.  

Josh's Birth Story

Here we are almost eight weeks after we welcomed Joshua Clark Hubbard into the world.  I’m very happy that I blogged throughout my pregnancy as well as videotaped Josh’s birth.  It has given me the motivation to post more as both Jake and Josh grow.  Now, onto the story!

It all started on Saturday November 22, 2014.  I had picked up yet another twelve hour overtime shift at work.  I wasn’t feeling too great when I woke up.  I had a terrible headache all day and some fierce lower back pain that was not letting up.  Around 5 PM I finally laid down in one of the “healing sanctuary” rooms at work.  The pressure in my lower back had finally taken its toll on my body.  While I was laying down I was trying to count how many times Josh was kicking in an hour.  Unfortunately he wasn’t kicking at all, which was unlike every day during my pregnancy.  From 15 weeks up until I delivered Josh constantly kicked and punched his away around my uterus.  After an hour of trying to reach the OB who was on call (Dr. Born) I was told to come to the hospital.   Yet again, one of my coworkers had to drive me to the hospital.  Thanks Donna!!  Donna sped to St. Vincent Hospital in Carmel in record time.  I was officially admitted at 9:00 PM.   

True to form like every hospital, the dreaded cervix check came.  I was 2-3 cm dilated and about 75% effaced.  Around 10 p.m. I moved from the triage room to an actual labor and delivery room.  Can you say déjà vu?  About an hour later I spiked a temp of 100 F and was given Tylenol.  Shortly after, Josh started to have decels.  Lucky for him and me my L&D nurse, Christine, was able to help by repositioning me on my left side.  Looking back I don’t think I moved from that position because I was petrified at what might happen if I moved, and I forced myself not to look at the monitor monitoring the baby’s heart rate.  

 I had far fetched goal to try to deliver Josh without the use of Pitocin…unfortunately my body needed a little help.  I still hate Pitocin, it did nothing but make my life miserable.  It made my contractions that much worse and frequent.  At 10 AM my day shift L&D nurse, Amy, checked my cervix…4 cm and 80% effaced.  Time for an epidural!  At 10:30 Dr. Weber administered my epidural.   That man had the personality of a paper towel…he was kind of a tool, but I’ll cut him some slack seeing as how he was poking me with a ginormous needle and taking the pain of my contractions away.  

I assumed that after I received my epidural my body would relax and have an easier time dilating like last time…totally wrong this time! Amy checked my cervix at 4 PM and I was still hanging at 4cm.  How frustrating is that?!  Later on I found that she had called the OB on call, Dr. Born, around 11 AM asking if she would come and break my water.  Unfortunately, Dr. Born was the only doctor from WHA on call and has privileges at three different hospitals in the Indy metro area.  Apparently the weekend I gave birth every other woman was doing the same thing, and I had to wait my turn.

At 6:30 PM Dr. Born checked my cervix (5-6 cm) and broke my water.  The second she broke my water Josh dropped significantly.  My amniotic sac was blocking my cervix making it difficult for my body to dilate.  By this point in time my parents had been at the hospital for almost 12 hours and were going to head home because I hadn’t delivered Josh.  Their plans quickly changed because right around 8:11 p.m. I was 9 cm dilated.  By 8:23 p.m. I was at 10 cm dilated.  Christine, my L&D nurse, let my body labor down for almost 30 minutes before I started pushing.  It was difficult not to push at that time because your body just takes over, and you have an unbearable urge to start pushing.  Finally at 8:48 p.m. I started pushing…And guess what?  After only thirty minutes of pushing Josh entered the world at 9:18 p.m. on November 23, 2014 weighing a hefty 7 lb 4 oz and 19.75 inches long!

The second I held Josh in my arms I received such a rush of adrenaline…the same way I did with Jake.  All I could think was that I could do this a hundred more times if I got the same feeling.  I can’t say I was too terribly surprised when I found out Josh was a boy.  Towards the end of my pregnancy I had a feeling it was a boy.  Nonetheless, it was a good surprise.  I’m so happy that I made the decision to be surprised with this pregnancy.  I mean how many surprises do you get like that in a lifetime?  And just like that my pregnancy journey came to an end.  It was nice while it lasted, and I’ll always be grateful that I had two amazing experiences with pregnancy.  I’m so happy that I recorded my pregnancy journey with Josh…perhaps that was the biggest lesson learned from Jake.  Take the time to enjoy every second of a new journey, whether pleasant or unpleasant, one day you may find that you miss being on that journey.  As much as I miss my pregnancy I have the awesome opportunity to enjoy my life with two beautiful children and a wonderful husband as well as two clearance dogs.

Josh: The Bump and The Birth

Pregnancy Journal...39 Weeks

Still pregnant!  I feel pretty good for being one week away from my due date.  Honestly, I'd like to make this pregnancy last as long as possible.  I'll never be pregnant again after this, and I want to soak up every last moment of it that I can.  It's devastating to think that this is it...I've spent a good amount of time crying over the fact that I won't have any more children after this or experience how wonderful and beautiful pregnancy is.  If I make it to my next week appoint I will have a non stress test done, my amniotic fluid levels will be checked, and I'll have an appointment with my OB's NP.  If any of those suggest that baby could be in trouble or myself, my OB will induce me.  If not, she said she would more or less leave the ball in my court.  If I want to be induced, she'll induce me and if not, she won't.  I have no desire to be induced, but I have no desire to go over my due date by very much because babies tend to run the risk of experiencing birth depression, meconium aspiration syndrome, etc...If I don't go into labor, I have some big decisions to make!  By the way, I'd like express to everyone how amazing I think my OB is.  If anyone lives in the Hamilton County area of Indiana, I recommend Dr. Amy Moon with Women's Health Alliance!  So here are some prego stats for you!

Belly Button: Out
Best Moment: Again, all of the love and snuggles I get from Jake
BP: 120/80
Cravings: CHOCOLATE
Dilation: 2 cm
Effacement: 50%
Food Aversion: Eggs
Gender: ???
Maternity Clothes: Yep!
Sleep: 6 hours
Stretch Marks: Not yet...please be kind to me baby!
Symptoms: Baby is still fist pumping my cervix
Weight: 151 lb (up 2 lb...27 lb total)

39 Weeks

Comparison between 6 Weeks and 39 Weeks

Pregnancy Journal...38 Weeks (Catch up post from November 11, 2014)

38 weeks!  How did that happen?!  I've had quite a bit of contractions, and I'm starting to get a little uncomfortable.  I'm just relieved that my short term disability and FMLA are squared away.  All I need to do is wait on this baby.  Here are some prego stats:

Belly Button: Out
Best Moment: All of the snuggles I get from Jake.
BP: 100/62
Cravings: CHOCOLATE!
Dilation: 2 cm
Effacement: 50%
Food Aversion: Eggs
Gender: ???
Maternity Clothes: Yep
Sleep: 7 hours
Stretch Marks: Not yet...please continue to be kind to me baby!
Symptoms: Kicks and it feels like this baby is fist pumping my cervix
Weight: 149 lb ( down 1 lb...25lb total)

38 Weeks